If you’re anything like the pastors and nonprofit leaders I serve, you don’t take hiring lightly—especially when it comes to bringing in outside help. The stakes are too high. The right consultant can move mountains for your ministry. The wrong one can make you wish you’d just done it all yourself.
But let’s be real: Most of us were taught to “be nice,” not to push back, and certainly not to grill a supposed expert during the interview. Sometimes, that urge to be polite is exactly what gets us in trouble.
So today, I want to share the questions leaders never ask—but absolutely should. Because if you want the right fit, you have to get past the surface.
Why “Tough” Questions Matter
A lot of consultants walk in with a slick pitch, a fancy deck, and more answers than questions. But your church or nonprofit isn’t generic. You’re not running a franchise. You’re holding down the frontline for your community—serving Black families, launching real programs, stretching every dollar, and making a legacy out of “not enough.”
You need a consultant who gets that. Someone who respects your context, honors your people, and can walk with you—not just hand over a cookie-cutter plan.
A Client’s Story: When Politeness Cost More Than Dollars
Let me give you a real example.
A church board I worked with once hired a consultant with glowing reviews and the right credentials. In the interview, the consultant did most of the talking. He was confident, sharp, and had a proven record at big organizations. Out of respect and politeness, the board didn’t challenge him much—they figured his success would translate.
But once the engagement started, cracks showed fast. He never once asked about their church’s unique history, their congregation’s traditions, or how the community viewed outside help. He brought a slick plan, but it missed the heartbeat of the people. Their giving actually dropped. Staff felt disconnected. It took nearly a year—and another consultant—to rebuild the trust and momentum they’d lost.
That’s why I’m giving you these questions—so you don’t have to learn the hard way.
Five Questions That Separate the Pretenders from the Partners
- “What’s your experience with Black-Focused churches or nonprofits?”
Don’t just settle for a yes/no. Ask for stories. Ask for specifics. If they get flustered or downplay the importance, that’s your answer. - “How do you adapt to a new culture or congregation before making recommendations?”
You want to hear about listening, observing, and relationship-building—not just research or Google searches. - “Tell me about a time you failed—and how you fixed it.”
Every real consultant has had tough projects. Are they humble enough to admit it, and did they make it right? That’s the kind of partner you want. - “How do you measure success at the end of our partnership?”
Beware the consultant who only talks dollars and deliverables. Ask about dignity, trust, and whether your community feels stronger when they leave. - “What will you do if you and my board disagree?”
This is where most partnerships go sideways. The right fit will talk about communication, respect, and process—not just “my way or the highway.”
It’s Not About Being Difficult—It’s About Being Diligent
Look, you’re not being “mean” for asking these questions. You’re being a good steward. You’re protecting your people, your programs, and your progress.
I tell my clients all the time: The wrong hire costs more than just money. It drains energy, damages trust, and sets your ministry back months or even years.
But the right consultant? They’re not offended by your questions—they welcome them. They’ll lean in, share their heart, and let you see how they work.
So, next time you’re sitting across the table—or on a Zoom call—with a potential fundraising partner, don’t just nod and smile. Get curious. Get specific. And don’t be afraid to make them earn your trust.
If you want more help navigating this process, or just need to talk through your options, I’m always an email away. Your mission matters too much to gamble with the wrong support.
P.S. Want my Vetting for Fit Checklist to make this process even easier? Click here to download it now.
